The one-time peanut butter shake

Yesterday evening, after four hours of paper writing, I asked my friend Rebecca if she wanted to take a little shake break and run over to Potbelly's. Last time we were there, the guy behind the counter revealed to us that there was a secret menu, a secret menu that involved peanut butter shakes.

So I walk up to the counter and order a peanut butter oreo shake.

Note: There's one guy who works at Potbelly's who is notorious for his strangeness. He's definitely got the Bob Marley vibe going on, and he always has this look on his face that says, "Does it look like I care?"

He says, "We don't have peanut butter."

I say, "Yes you do. It's right there." [pointing to the shelf with a row of peanut butter jars]

"Well we don't do peanut butter shakes."


"Yes you do! It's on your secret menu!"

"Who told you that?"

"That guy over there. Last time we were here he said you have a secret menu with peanut butter shakes." [pointing to the other guy behind the counter]

[turning to the other guy] "Ben, you told her about the peanut butter??"

"No I didn't."

"Yes, you did!"

At this point it was getting a little ridiculous so I said, "It's fine. I'll just have an oreo shake."

Ben: "No, no. I will make you a peanut butter shake." 

Me: "Well if it's going to complicate your life, then don't worry about it."

Ben: "No, I will make you a peanut butter shake. We  just don't like to cuz then we have to get out the peanut butter, we have to sanitize everything..."

Me: "If you don't want to make it then don't make it!"

But Ben insists on making the shake. It takes forever. And when I finally get it I can't even drink it because it's too thick.

Ben: "Is that too thick? Here, give it back to me and I'll remix it for you."

So I hand it back, Ben sets it on the counter, he rings up another customer, the register drawer pops out, the shake ends up on the floor, Ben looks like he's about to cry.

"It's fine, I'll still eat it!" I yell over the counter to Ben, who's kneeling on the floor with his hand over his face.

But ever-faithful Ben makes another "pain-in-the-ass" peanut butter shake, hands it to me, and says, "It better be good."

It was so good. But I'm never getting one again.